Feeling alone and frustrated with a 180.

[aeolianchaos]

Asperger's does contribute to the problem, but maybe not in the way that you think. We usually tend to be very black-and-white thinkers, expecting perfection and rejecting anything short of it. It takes a lot of effort to even imagine that someone else could accept us when we are short of what we feel we should be. Anger looks like rejection, and it is hard to think beyond the moment, to know that anger is just a passing feeling, and doesn't mean the "end."

Thank you for sharing this with me. So you hold yourself to the same kinds of standards that you might hold for.. say.. a project.. and then when you don't get it right, or someone gets upset with you, you feel pretty intense emotions?

It is hard sometimes to think beyond the moment, especially when anger and fear are involved - its just not how our brains tend to work in those cases. We tend to get very reptilian and react quite a bit. I think this is something that we can train ourselves out of, but it takes work.

IC always says I lack patience for change to happen, want everything better NOW.

The thing is, change is happening. You want change to happen and be done with.. but it isn't like changing a tire. It's more like walking along a path. We are walking and moving closer to what we think we want to become, but by the time we get there, it will be something new anyways. If you can identify the little ways you've changed and appreciate those a bit along the way, you might find it easier to maintain some of that patience.