I agree, thanks for the insights. I know that my own father, as well-meaning as he is, is highly emotional and is very, very needy in terms of relationships. Especially with me, as I basically had to help take care of him during one of the hardest times of his life (bankruptcy, post-divorce, etc.) I have found that I have repeated many of these behaviors with my W. I may not be drinking myself into a stupor, but I did make my W out to be the axis of my world, and I think that she resented that after a long enough time, even if she didn't fully realize it.
I too believe that M's are works-in-progress. I have always felt so... If my W chooses to come back and rebuild our M, then I will do that with her. There will always be ups and downs in the M -- this could just be a very severe down after all is said and done. We will see. Just have to give things time.
