New to the forum.

[Lonely in SLC]

Yesterday was an ok day. My stbxw called me about 5:00 in the afternoon wanting to know if I was heading to the house to help move some of the furniture to her new apartment. I really did not have the energy or desire to see her or move furniture, so I said that I was busy. She asked, I could tell by her tone she was in a good mood, so I conceded. I have hard time saying no to her.

So, I arrived to the house, loaded up some furniture, drove to the apartment, and unloaded the furniture. At this point I was ready to leave, it was around 7:30. She asked if the reason I said I wasn't going to help originally was because I had a date set up. I said no, that I am still waiting for her to come to her senses. She quickly changed the subject. She was unpacking and asked me stay to help and talk. Again I said ok.

For the next hour we just enjoyed eachothers company talking and unpacking. I swear it was as if everything was back to normal, minus the sexual inuendos we use to throw eachothers way before.

By 8:15 we had finished with up. Again I was ready to go home. She asked to accompany her and the kids while the kids went swimming. The pool is located right at the apartment complex. Again, I agreed.

The stbxw and I did not swim. We just sat next to eachother conversing while the kids played in the pool. After about 15 minutes the conversation led to R. I don't remember how it started, probably by me, but I rember points brought up.

I stated that it appears we are back to being friends like before, and that I can tell she still has feelings for me. She agreed, so I asked her to go to the movies with me.

She said not yet, that she was still hurt, and that the things take time to heal. She began with the list of things I had done wrong, spying on her accusing her of being unfaithful, the arguing from before. As she spoke, I noticed one small change. She did not seem as angry or sad as before.

I validated everything she said while looking into her eyes. I never had a problem looking into her eyes since they are the most beautiful eyes. The one piece of advice a told her was that one vital ingredient to healing is forgiving. I hope she could see the changes that I had made for her to be closer to forgiving me.

She stated I will have another opportunity with her, but until then, we both should start seeing eachother. Grrrrrr!!! I was reminded of what Sandi had said earlier, she might go wild for awhile.

She believes this will help us in two ways. One, she dated a lot before we married. It is almost as if she needs to be reminded of the garbage out their, and to see if she will think of me. This may lead her to missing me more.

Second, I did not date a lot before we got married. She believes I could use the practice of courting before we get back together. The entire time my mind is thinking BS! The only thing I said is that I want and deserve first opportunity when she is ready to date again, then we moved on to other stuff.

At 09:00 we got the kids out of the pool. Again, I was ready to go, but she asked if we could all go and get a bite to eat. Sooooo, we had dinner as a family at Wendy's.

Finally headed home at about 09:45. It was a quick good-bye to the family. She gave me a kiss on the cheek before I left, (chilean culture is to kiss eachothers cheek when arriving or leaving).

I would appreciate thoughts and opinions from others. Should I view what I have been doing as gradually working, or do I need to change something to possible make her miss me more? Right now, I have not been spying and am acting as a good friend.