I ache for you and your boys, though I'm glad the service went well and
everyone who matters, came through it w/flying colors.
This is a dizzying event from which you are still reeling. You don't "have to" make sense of your whirling emotions
and God knows you don't have to act on them.
I doubt even OM saw this coming. But forget about him for now.
Putting your focus on him NOW is
like caring about what the street person speaking in gibberish, says about what you wore to the funeral...
soooo not important. NOT from our world, ya know?
Focus on breathing and eating and sleeping well...
Focus on your boys.
School is coming, what will you tell the counselors?
Any changes in their schedules?
Where are you all going to live? Back home?
Can you delay going through her things and if not, can you involve others?
My bf from childhood (in our wedding too) died in a car accident and her parents went through her things I assume.
But they invited me and one other friend to go through her things, little things like jewelry, and each take a piece that mattered.
In your case, set aside the things that should be passed on to your boys first (or their wives) and see how you feel... Point to all this^^^^ is,
you have a lot to focus on that matters SO much more than OM...
be kind to yourself and others. In time, you can always decide to punch him
but for now,
isn't there enough pain to heal from?
I look forward to reading the eulogy and am so glad many came.
Sounds lovely but bittersweet.
(I suppose that's the best we can hope for from a funeral.)
Well done, Pete.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
