if my W came to the house tonight begging for another chance I don't know what I would say. Maybe I'd say, "OK but there are a lot of things that have to change."
And even then, how long would that last before we fell back into the old destructive ways?
We want to be with someone who loves us for who we are (not who they want us to be), is crazy about us and will miss us when we are not there. Anything less is unacceptable, IMHO.
I agree with you completely. You definitely wouldn't want too much too soon. And you do not want to return to the old M, at any cost. I think you're doing the right thing by imposing a mental deadline to give it some time and then make a decision.
