Dear Noah,

We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.

Sincerely,

Unicorns



Dear Twilight fans,

Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that.

Sincerely,

Logic



Dear Icebergs,

Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.

Sincerely,

The Titanic



Dear America ,

You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.

Sincerely,

Canada



Dear Yahoo,

I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...

Sincerely,

Google



Dear girls who have been dumped,

There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.

Sincerely,

BP



Dear Saturn,

I liked it, so I put a ring on it.

Sincerely,

God



Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,

Please lknvfdmv.xvn.

Sincerely,

Stevie Wonder



Dear Scissors,

I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either.

Sincerely,

Sarah Palin



Dear Osama Bin Laden,

Marco....

Sincerely,

United States



Dear World of Warcraft,

Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.

Sincerely,

Parents Everywhere



Dear Batman,

What was your power again?

Sincerely,

Superman



Dear Customers,

Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.

Sincerely,

Nail Salon Ladies



Dear Ugly People,

You're welcome.

Sincerely,

Alcohol



Dear World,

Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars end there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?

Sincerely,

The Mayans



Dear White People,

Don't you just hate immigrants?

Sincerely,

Native Americans



Dear iPhone,

Please stop spell checking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut. Sincerely,

Every iPhone User



Dear Trash,

At least you get picked up...

Sincerely,

The Girls of Jersey Shore



Dear Man,

It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?

Sincerely,

Elephants

Me 48
X's vary
S 27
S 18
Back with high school sweety after 30 years..