BE CAREFUL DBING

[~¤DG¤~]

P.S.
As time goes on, please do not stop posting with us.
You are such a strong source of support and wisdom, I know many people (myself included) have benefited from your advice, I know you have so much to give to others on here.

[gr8 day 2B alive]

9 so sorry to learn of your news. I can't say anything the others haven't said to you already.
You and your kids are in my prayers.

im going to need help, council and alot of support from friends and family.

Good plan. We are all here for you too.
Hugs

[2stepboogie]

Pete

I know you hurt and it is still fresh, very raw

The feeling of anger, rage, sadness

They are feelings and are neither right nor wrong

They are yours and you should feel them all.

Do not be ashamed of how you feel....towards yourself, towards your wife or towards OM.

Don't judge your feelings, IMO there are no bad feelings.

That last few days I'm sure have been a whirlwind and as usually the case with the lost of a loved the effects will begin to take root later on.

Reality will take a little while to sink

For the time being concentrate on today because that is all you have.

Don't be to hard on yourself. Accept what you feel and don't judge it just feel it.

I have been meaning to ask you a questio or two

1. What town in Canada do you live in?

2. The name of your thread is very interesting. Why did you name it that? Just curious?

Question one I would like to know

Question two.........take your time.

How are the kids?

[notsosunny]

((((( Nine )))))

I'm so glad that you posted to us on this DB site.

I have read your last 2 posts since the funeral and would like to make a few comments...

YES...........You are going to feel waves and waves of emotions for a long time. Its so early in the grieving process. You have had a terrible terrible shock and im so glad to see you post that you will need help for U and your sons.

You commented that you felt her at the service....I truly believe that she was there for you and the kids. She is finally at peace......she feels the strength that you carry, she knows that you will love those boys with all your heart.
I'm sure you made her proud.

A loved ones Euology has to be one of the hardest things on earth. I'm proud of you and amazed that you could carry this off.

When I think of a persons suicide and what emotions it brings to the family that is left behind......
I think of the Five stages of Death by Kubler-Ross


I see some of that in your posting...

1. Denial......" NO...no..no this can't have happened!
2. ANGER.... at yourself, at her, at OM, at God
the anger is going to be there until you can forgive.
3. Bargaining......well its too late for that, but I feel this goes hand and hand with " If I had only done this or only done that, ( If i had only been there ) when she needed me.....Nine I have never ever seen a man fight for their marriage the way that you did. Please don't second guess yourself.
4. Depression.. yes it will come...and this is an area that you all ready realize that you are going to utililze professional help for you and your sons.

and Finally......It will come..Acceptance......Man it will be a long long road for you to finally accept what has happened, But its the best feeling in the world. When you say to yourself " It was gods will " she is in peace and you will FIND that peace also. I really dont want to struggle anymore.

JUST know that you have a loving family around you
Many Many people sending you prayers.....

You are in our thoughts


Sunny

[dbmod]

Nine-

Just thinking about you and praying for you and your family.

In case you didn't read Jack's note, when you have a chance, please check the email that is associated with your db account.

Hang in there-

[♪CS♪]

I know 9.

You had many wonderful years together.

Those are the memories to cherish.

Be well. Thinking of you.

[Brian in Hville]

We love you and are praying for you Pete. My only advice to you is let the anger toward OM go. Focus on your children and family. Grieve...take all the time you need.

Brian

[aeolianchaos]

Nine,

Everything you are feeling is to be expected.

Don't pressure yourself to get over this any faster than you are ready to. It's a huge event and you owe it to yourself and your kids to take the time to fully digest it.

[25yearsmlc]

(((( 9 )))))

I ache for you and your boys, though I'm glad the service went well and

everyone who matters, came through it w/flying colors.

This is a dizzying event from which you are still reeling. You don't "have to" make sense of your whirling emotions

and God knows you don't have to act on them.

I doubt even OM saw this coming.

But forget about him for now.

Putting your focus on him NOW is

like caring about what the street person speaking in gibberish, says about what you wore to the funeral...

soooo not important. NOT from our world, ya know?

Focus on breathing and eating and sleeping well...

Focus on your boys.

School is coming, what will you tell the counselors?

Any changes in their schedules?

Where are you all going to live? Back home?

Can you delay going through her things and if not, can you involve others?

My bf from childhood (in our wedding too) died in a car accident and her parents went through her things I assume.

But they invited me and one other friend to go through her things, little things like jewelry, and each take a piece that mattered.

In your case, set aside the things that should be passed on to your boys first (or their wives) and see how you feel...

Point to all this^^^^ is,

you have a lot to focus on that matters SO much more than OM...

be kind to yourself and others. In time, you can always decide to punch him

but for now,

isn't there enough pain to heal from?


I look forward to reading the eulogy and am so glad many came.

Sounds lovely but bittersweet.

(I suppose that's the best we can hope for from a funeral.)

Well done, Pete.

[~¤DG¤~]

Dbmod- is there any way we can stick this on page 1 for a while?

This is all so fresh and new and I check in here often, as others do and it would be much easier to find......