IB - I am so sorry that you are feeling down, you are exhausted. Too much physically and emotionally on your plate. I always felt worst when I was tired.
Not sure missing the emotional closeness ever completely goes away, but what happens [at least for me] is that eventually we accept it and start to truly enjoy the emotional freedom of being totally ourselves. It is scary, but exhilarating.
We forget all the downsides of coupledom, especially if we were starting to become [or had become] co-dependent as our spouses slid into MLC. We believe we need the other to be happy and complete. We also know that is bs!
There is much to look forward to, I promise. A lot of pain to experience but a lot of joy. This is the hardest bit. My eldest son got married nine months post bomb and his happiness was very mixed with pain for me, but I now look back to his marriage with pleasure, and enjoy my relationship with him and his wife.
All of my adult children now have partners who may be 'the one'. And I am both glad that they were not too damaged and cynical by what happened to take the step, while missing at times what I had. But as I said, I miss it less and less, and enjoy life more and more. We have clearer eyes post divorce!!
