Im just going to give up.

[Queen_of_Swords]

Rue it's so easy for your STBX to point the finger at you. Means he doesn't have to look at himself or take any responsibility for the things he's done, said or his own feelings or happiness.
You didn't make him bitter or unhappy. HE DID.
You don't have that kind of power. Don't take it on.
Yes you had a part in the disintegration of your M. Own what part you played in that and become a better person. Learn from it.
I know you want desperately for him to love you the way he used to, but Rue honestly he isn't even capable of loving himself, let alone anyone else.

His self loathing is obvious. He is so focused on that pain and self loathing that he really doesn't have any energy to spare to think how it's affecting you, he literally can't care.

See if you can find some compassion in your heart for him. He is lashing out at you because you're the one closest and the one that knows him best. He is in a great deal of pain and I know it's such a stretch to realize that when you're hurting so badly yourself.
That's why it's so important to take care of you, be good to you, and show compassion to yourself.