Can a marriage survive two affairs?

[25yearsmlc]

My husband has requested a transfer. That is why we leave in Nov. He will not go to C. He says he did it because he no longer cared about us and only cared about her. He fell in love with her because he was not happy with me and our fighting.

Then why on earth are you talking about rebuilding the marriage?

I mean, what does HE mean when he claims to want to work on it?


I'd get some very specific terms from him. And btw you must do something to resolve conflicts better, or what?

You'll have to be a silent doormat for fear of upsetting him with your needs and thereby SHOVING him into the arms of OW??

He needs to grow up and you both have to better resolve conflict,

not prolong them with attacks and retreats...

This is nuts.

Doesn't mean you don't have to work on YOUR end of things. (Complaining is just NOT effective to create change or a healthy dynamic)

Bottom line is that

he has to know you won't hold this over his head forever, if he does his work and he must know that

marriage to you now & from this day forward;

would be better/different than before. But so do you!

Sounds like you are saying there is no hope based on how he is...

Just pointing out the inconsistency between what he says he wants, and

what he's willing or not willing to do to make that happen.

As a former JAGC officer, I must ask if he knows what damage will be done to his career if they find this stuff out?

Not that you should say anything to his chain of command as hurting his career also hurts your kids funding...

but wondering where his head is...