All sorry GreenBlue is all over the place right now. One minute it hurts, one minute I am thrilled, Trying to process all the conflicting emotions.
According to polyamorous literature, what I'm going through is normal for the first couple of times. Especially when you are the one that stayed home. According to those sources it's just part of the jealousy process, and part of letting go for your partners sake.
Now open marriage or not I have a jealousy issue. I did before the marriage hit the rocks, and in previous relationships. I am a jealous (read insecure guy). Don't want to live that way anymore. So maybe I to have been pushing myself through some screwed up therapy. Who knows.
So yeah according to "open" people this is normal, and if the relationship will work should go away if the other partner reassures and makes the one not involved feel loved. Which she has done a good job so far, but these things take time so i see myself needing a little more TLC I imagine we'll go through the same once I start lining up my own dates, but in reverse. I know it'll be harder for her, but fair is fair in an open marriage, and this is the pandora's box that we opened.
So yeah sorry for the post, now I seem to be on a high.
