Tina. I didn't give you a 2 x 4, I told you what they were and how we used them on the board. Never said you deserved one, but now I am. STOP BEING SO DEFENSIVE. We are not the enemy. We are here to help you sort it out anyway we can. Sometimes the advice is tough.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Honey, you've got to work on YOU before you can work on the M. I'm not saying you've done anything wrong, but you are obviously unhappy with the state of things in your life.
Yes it confusing. Yes it hurts. As for the Mommy thing, I don't see it, but to each their own. He has taken you for granted for so long, and you have allowed it, that it has become a framework of your marriage. You are in a hideous place to be.
Get your feet on the ground, and your head on your shoulders, and then you will be in a place to start healing. ((HUGS))
