Help - I really want to save my marriage

[aeolianchaos]

Hi BadLuck.

I guess we married the same person? didn't know she had a condo.

A lot of what i'm reading here sounds very similar to my sitch., as well as a lot of other LBS's on this forum.

There is always a chance - but the onus is on you if it's going to be going about it in this way. The good news is, you'll end up being a far happier person, and much more of the kind of person you really want to be.

I think someone on here has generalized that it takes about 1 month for each year of marriage? So perhaps you can figure out the best way to slow things down and buy yourself some time? Without 'fighting' her?

Others will be able to advise you a little better, but perhaps just going dark will give you some space to reconfigure yourself a bit.

I can't say I have been using the DB techniques effectively as I'm trying to be very nice to her to make up for my seemingly critical behavior.

Nothing wrong with being kind. Just don't do it for the wrong reasons (expectations..)