If it is TRUE forgiveness, why are you so eager to tell her?
Do you expect something from it? From her?
I think you do expect something from it, Johnnie. B/c everything you've said or done....was with expectation. I know, you try to cover it with some other explanation, but deep down you hope it will cause a positive reaction in her. That's one reason you won't stop believing that words will fix this broken R and we keep telling you to hush.
Do not tell her you've forgiven her! Does it matter that a WAW is telling you this? DO NOT TELL HER YOU FORGIVE HER! It will not have the results you wish for if you tell her without her asking for it.
I did not ask my H for forgiveness and I doubt your W will either. I did ask him if he would ever trust me again. Well, guess what my H said? Yes, he would trust me...b/c that was who is was and he could not live any other way.
Forgiveness is based upon YOU, not the sinner. It's not based on whether she deserves it, wants it, or works for it. It is based upon who you are in your heart, and if YOU will forgive her or not.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
