Devastated

[Julz]

I have lost just over 20kg this year - that's about 44lbs - I've gone from 224lbs to 176lbs. So yes my new size shows and I am wearing new and different clothes that do show off my new shapely body. I now weigh less then I did when we first met.

Sex was great until we had kids. He reckons it was 12 months after having our twins before we had sex again - I disagree - 6 months maybe - but I never argued with him when he said it was over 12 months.

Yes I have rejected him before saying I'm tired etc. My not wanting sex is probably due to a number of reasons - my weigh and not feeling happy with my body, tiredness (I run a full-time business, keep house and look after two kids), and the fact that he's hardly around (works 7 - 6pm). Last year after he broke his hand and was home for 3 weeks (kids were at school) I found him irresistable - we had sex a few times a day - he must have wondered what happened. I'm not sure if it was because he was hurt and vulnerable (was his right hand so I had to help him dress, cut his food up etc), or if he was around more. After he went back to work the sex slowly stopped and went back to once or twice a month.

Nits are lice and I told him they came home with them last time. He (well OW) treated them this time. We are in Australia and it's the middle of winter so my kids are already in school and can't go with lice unless they've been treated. I check their hair every day and eventually we get rid of all of them. Will be interesting to see if they come home with them again next fortnight.

I am seeing a counsellor and I do need to make a Dr's appointment. I guess I just thought that was married life - me tired, not wanting sex as much etc - never thought there might be something medically wrong. I also know we speak different love languages. I felt he didn't help much around the case - hence being tired and not wanting sex. But I did notice when we did have sex he would help more around the house etc. Looking back I now realise how big a problem it was - but at the time he never said anything so I had no idea!

I know pre kids too we would do things like tie each other up etc - we stopped doing that after kids. I guess we got bored - especially after struggling to have kids - sex did become a chore to make a baby. I guess I never forgot that and made it become the pleasurable act it should be.