No, although that's a common misconception.

"You need to do 'X' " is controlling.

"I've decided that I'll no longer pay to financially enable your affair" is a boundary.

Make sense?

Let me give you an easier example. "I forbid you to use obscenity when speaking to me" is controlling. "If you persist in using obscenity when speaking to me, then this conversation is over until you're ready to speak to me respectfully" -- and leaving the room . . . that's a BOUNDARY.


Starsky

M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)