The year of not my problem

[AJM]

Thanks CTH. I get the gist. I think the real heart of this board is getting to the point where it matters not what the X says or thinks. That is why it bothered me that the thought came into my head. To understand at this point is silly but it is what it is, right?

The funny thing is that it nags at me. It's RIDICULUOUS!!!! and nuttier than squirrel s**t (to re-use a phrase seen elsewhere). It's like saying, "I don't want you, but I want to feel like I didn't leave you hopeless, so here...." What's also odd is that as I write that, I've realized I've seen that pattern from her many times. She tried it with the other guys while I thought we were still working things out. Even the current boyfriend she tried to pawn off on a friend. But she wanted me to be ok and have somebody else. Oh, and she hated me and wants me to be alone. At the same time.

Anyway, it's just odd. Just journaling and now letting it slide away. Thanks for the feedback.

later,

AJ