Can my relationship be saved, part 2

[Julz]

Hugs today. I had to sit in my office and watch h take all his clothes out to the car. That's about all he's taken from the house. I can't imagine how hard it would be if he was to take a heap of furniture.

[a girl]

Thanks you guys! You're the bestest.

Julz - My H is only taking a few "big" things like his desk, a big safe I don't even like, his lazyboy (which is already gone) and his grill.

When he took half the kitchen stuff, it was kind of nice to not have such a cluttered kitchen. He'll be taking some books (I think we're sorting those out next weekend) which will give me more room for my books, so again, that's not bad.

Anyway, I cycle - I'm ok, I'm not ok, etc. But my "not ok" right now is so different than my "not ok" of a month ago (because it's only been a month since I found out about his affair) that it's amazing - so I know that my 'not ok' in another month will be even better. Baby steps, but movement nonetheless.

[a girl]

Just got home. The empty space in the office isn't as upsetting as I worried it would be.

Did see that he took a cabinet he hadn't mentioned (don't care too much, just want the stuff that was in it back), and didn't move the small freezer into the basement like he said he would (certainly not going to ask him to - just one more example of his inability to do things he says he will).

He didn't take the paintings - suspect he will soon, but whatever.

[a girl]

Having an ok day. It's a day when I won't have to see/talk to H, so that's nice. Turns out I started my girly time today, so that's probably part of why I've had a hard couple of days. Hopefully that's all done now.

[Telemark]

"Did see that he took a cabinet he hadn't mentioned (don't care too much, just want the stuff that was in it back), and didn't move the small freezer into the basement like he said he would (certainly not going to ask him to - just one more example of his inability to do things he says he will)."

I see your H and my W are related.

I'm looking at my half-empty house as an opportunity to create something that is mine; maybe it's a way of regaining control over a bad situation. We can't control them, but we can make our lives better.

[a girl]

Telemark - Agree! Right now I'm taking things slowly, starting to change little things I had always disliked but didn't care enough to argue about. Next will be stuff *I* like on the walls .. and then maybe rearranging.

I'm planning to put a piano-keyboard in the office where his desk used to be. I always wanted one - I've played forever - but we never "had room" (even though we had room for his big ol' recliner that no one ever used).

Honestly, even the times when I miss him, I don't miss him all that much.

[Telemark]

"Honestly, even the times when I miss him, I don't miss him all that much."

Well said. I did not expect I would feel that way about my W, but it's true for me, also. I think it's a sign of healing, or at least being able to process everything in a good way.

[~¤DG¤~]

Girl,

One of the first things I did when H left was rearrange things the way I liked them, and he didn't. For me, that was a big step.
It made the place more "mine" than "ours"

[a girl]

DG - Thanks, that's a good idea. Our house doesn't allow for too much change to make stuff fit, but I'm definitely going to do some stuff in the bedroom. I'm looking forward to taking over the whole closet - I've already put rose-scented drawer liners everywhere!

[JustStunned]

I have taken over the whole closet, but I am drawing the line at rose scented drawer liners

I agree making the place more mine, like rearrangeing the kitchen drawers helped alot.

Weirdly one of the SILs has suggested decorating tips like wall colors.