Preseason has begun...just trying to make the cut

[MadeToSucceed]

I'm not trying to preach to anyone here but all of your words are truly a blessing to me. I HAD to take a quick break to thank you all. I'm swamped at work but just had to praise Him for His goodness to me and for people like you who don't know me from Adam that are helping me in my walk and through this process.

Yesterday I emailed my wife one of the bills she needed to set up in her name because it was being cancelled out of mine. She didn't respond immediately. Later she calls me upset because she tried to renew her registration on her vehicle and was told she had a ticket. She thought I'd purposely kept from her something that she THOUGHT came in the mail and was going off on me and yelling at me without even realizing it. When we got off the phone I sent her a message and told her I would help her as I have been because it's the right thing to do but she has no right to talk to me like the situation was my fault just because she is frustrated. I told her I did not deserve that treatment from her because I have done everything in my power to make things easier on HER, even given the circumstances.

She never responded until hours later with a simple "Thanks for your help. I got it sorted out." That's all I heard from her yesterday. No sorry (which I didn't really expect). Nothing else. Fine. No big deal.

I did my own personal Bible Study last night before bed and had a tough time praying so I just found myself reading through some of your prayers on here for me and my wife and I asked God to allow the Holy Spirit to intercede on my behalf and take control of my situation. Similar to DB'ing....allow me to control only what I can control and let go of the rest.

The devil tried to get me early this morning. I didn't have to be at work until 10:30am so I took some extra time to do some additional devotionals and study...I've been doing the Love Dare from Fireproof (in principle only, I haven't been carrying out the acts like "prepare your wife a meal.") and I took the time to meditate on it as well.

Well sure enough...I know this pissed the devil off because I went out to my truck at 10:25am (my job is 5 minutes away) and I couldn't start my truck. I'd left the light on. I had a guy come help me and I accidentally put the jumpers on the positive terminal only and fried my jumper cables. The old me would've cursed and screamed and the whole 9 but I just quietly said to myself "Father Help Me." A maintenance man walked by and I asked him if he had some cables and would he be willing to give me a jump. Initially he started to tell me he was too busy but he saw me sweating in my work clothes (I live in Texas and it is already 98 degrees at 10am...we've had record 100+ days this summer) and he said he'd be right back. He gave me a jump and I was off to work. First thing I was greeted with at work was a mistake I made when helping a student out yesterday. My coworkers said she and her mother had called upset. When I checked my email, the student had very politely made her request via email and ended it with "Thank you and God bless."

When I called her she was extremely polite and told me she hoped my day got better after I'd solved her issue. I have to get back to work but that was just a personal testimony that I needed to be able to get out there. Prayer is real and God is always at work even when the devil is trying to get to us.

My wife messaged me this morning wanting me to send her some bill stuff via email....the same bill stuff I've been trying to discuss with her for the last two weeks....the same bill stuff I suggested to her we sit down and go over and she told me she is just too tired and has too much on her mind and all she wanted to do is sleep. Now there is more urgency because it has to be done on HER time. In no way am I going to be spiteful but I have to live my life. There is work for me to do at my job and I'll be sure to get back to her as soon as I truly am free to do so. We've moved back to "her schedule" again. No more does she check on me to see how I am or call me at 2am and 3am like she did while she was in Europe her last few days or this weekend. I can't live on her schedule. It's not healthy and it's not right. I have to LIVE and continually be the best me that I can.

I plan to come back and comment on what you all posted earlier when I have time later but I just wanted to share that with you all how much of a blessing you are truly being to me. I honestly don't know where I'd be without this board and your thoughts and prayers.