I don't know if this sounds harsh or insensitive but.. No worries Country. I want truth and honesty so fire away. Never hold back on me
YOU ARE DIVORCED!Agreed which is why I don't see the contact necessary. It is not having OM, it is who it is. Someone who was there from the beginning. I am not ok with that. She knows it and I know it.
You said the picture was from June. AFTER you were divorced.
And what is it? A picture of your X with OM and other friends. You can "tell" a lot from the photo, but like I said. What does it matter? It's not an A at this point. No it is not. However if she would have moved on and left it at that I would be ok with it. Here is where I have a problem with it. The contact started in december when we were still M, in continued. She ALWAYS new what I wanted for us but yet she kept it from me and even though maybe nothing happened back then it progressed with him. Her words in April when I was there were vague on purpose to keep me around. " I don't know" "we will see" " I don't want to say never" " I will call the DB coach" " I will read the book" all signs that she wanted me to hold on. That she wanted to work things out in her mind. She ALWAYS knew if I knew about OM I was out. Still she claims nothing is going on but you know what she is calling me. I have not called her once in months but she continues to call me. She continues to initiate R talks which at this point serve no purpose. I just simple want her to know that her leverage is over and some honesty would certainly be in order. They know what they are doing country. Perhaps in the beginning they might be confused but after awhile it is all moves that are calculated. She wants OM? She can have him and he can have her although that R is over there is no reason to keep looking back. Also I am NO ONE second option and she has strung me along as a plan B and all i am saying is that plan B is gone.
The reason I say this is just because how I can envision your "calling her on it" will look. She will be upset, she will cry, she will claim nothing is gone. But enough with second guessing and game playing. She is calling for a reason. Lets get to it then AND honesty is in order.
You, her XH, is spying on her FB page and is now expecting/demanding answers about a photo he saw of his XW with friends. Spying is a tough word. I am not sure I was spying but I guess you can call it that. Anyways I was not even planning on bringing up the picture unless the issue came up. My real question is "why the contact" get to the bottom of it cause you are stopping me from healing. You want to reconcile? Then say it. You need more time? THen say it. You are scared? Then say it. Don't call me with some poor excuse to call. At some point all the little games need to stop and you have to address the issue.
What does this say? It says I know I've had enough BS for one lifetime. Maybe even two.
About you? That I still care enough to have feelings
About your life? Not a whole lot because it is her that is calling me
Your progress? YOu know country we all need to make changes when we come here but our core as humans remain the same. Sure some tweaks but in the end I think you are a good man, very good, but I think you were a good man before all this happened what I do think is that you have become more aware but you to the core are not different. I don't believe that we need to overhaul our personality just become more educated.
I TOTALLY understand that it does hurt. I understand wanting answers. But is it worth it? To YOU? FROM her? I don't like lose ends in my mind. There is a reason she is calling of that I am sure. I just want to know why? Friends? I don't want to be friends because my feelings are still real. If that is what she is looking for get a pen pal. If she comes out and says I want to reconcile then maybe we have something to talk about but NOT until she admits it and comes clean and even then it is suspect.
Originally Posted By: Kaffe Diem
woah...
LOL it gets better
My response to the text
M: No. It didn't......how u feel is how u feel
X: Ok good
X: I take it u changed ur mind about whatever u wanted to tell me
M: no actually I haven't at all
X: OK
Like I said i will do it when I have a clear mind and I promised my bud I would take two days.
