When is it good for 2Step to let down his boundary? I am not sure I follow?
I mean that the interactions with your W either make you uncomfortable (let her disturb your life) or they don't.
If they do then you either live your life that way until you realize you don't want that anymore (it doesn't serve your happiness) or you will continue to live with the pain you allow her to bring to your life. This is a good point gritter. I have given it some thought and I think I will tell her next time she calls that I am done with phone calls, text messages, and emails. The keep me from moving forward, they slow the progress. I am don't know how ready I am to take this step but I do know that the calls serve no purpose and I do not want to be her friend. I can't. It is for me too painful. I also know she lied to me about R with OM and has never come clean and as long as that is the case there is nothing to talk about. We will see....
Boundaries are there to help you live a happier life. yes but they can only be enforced when you are ready to. If not you lose credibility.
If she shows you some evidence that gives you some assurance that she might be willing to live life differently than what has been. A better life. A committed life. With me or on her own?
Then I mean- your boundaries are up to you to let them down (engage her) or to keep them up. I have to protect myself that is all I know. She still has the ability to hurt me and hurt me bad. I am fighting a funk right now I will tell you why at the bottom.
Originally Posted By: 2step
When is it helpful to you on your journey to watch your W and wonder why? Wonder why what?
Why she is doing, thinking, or not doing, thinking ANYTHING. I think as long as I wonder why, when, what she meant I am not healed. I am not ready. That is just my thought
I know you are journaling here when you write and I think it is good until it is time not to anymore... The fact that I do, well that is revealing in itself
I still see too much of "my X did this and that" 2.
If you came here and wrote 3 pages on how happy your life is and what you choose to put in it... Would anybody want to read that? lol
Well how much different would you feel?
Some of you might remember when I found out about her move to Tulsa I deleted her from my FB and since then I have not gone to see what she was doing. I still have access since my D and her are still friends.
Yesterday afternoon I took my D to NYC to spend the day and my SIL came along. She mentioned she saw a picture of X with OM and made some comments.
Lastnight I went on her FB, curiousty killed the cat, and I saw the picture. It was nothing to write home about.
It was X with OM and one of her friends and another guy sitting sharing a beer.
I know the pic was from back in June since the friend in the pic was somebody she worked with her in Jersey who went to visit her in June. So I knew the pic was a few months old but she was recently tagged.
Nothing else to see on her FB.
The picture put me in a foul mood and I felt yesterday like I haven't felt in a long time.
To know and to see are two very different things
While the pic itself was not explicit if you looked at it you would know that it is not two friends sharing a drink.
It is hard for me to describe but it left a sour taste in my mouth.
Since yesterday I have been feeling pretty low
This is part of the reason I have come to the conclusion that I would like to end all contact with her.
She has stuck to her guns about them just being friends and nothing has happened but to think otherwise is an insult on my intelligence.
I don't like lose ends in my head so I will address it when she calls and I would like some honesty.
