I find that if I have to justify then I was probably wrong.
We all take blame for our actions
for our M falling apart
and
for a long time We did everything wrong
I wonder how many stop and ask why you acted that way at that particular time.
A M/R is a two way street and while when we first get here we like to say I did this or I did that it is not for some time that you start to ask Why did I do that?
When you look closely you begin to realize that your own needs were not being met.
I think the difference between a M that makes it and one that does not has nothing to do with the amount of obstacles they face, but rather in the ability to recognize when your spouse is having a problem and rather than sit there and become angry because your own needs are not being met you put their feelings and desires before your own and NOT keep a checklist.
Truth is for a long time you did meet each others needs if you hadn't then I would question how you made it 15 yrs.
If you stop meeting your W's needs then why? Rather than sit there and say I am to blame I think it is better to think about why you stopped meeting their needs.
Could it be because your own needs stopped being met?
