I would spend a good chunk of time combing through the "Another Divorce Busted!" section of the BB. When I first came here, it gave me a lot of hope when I wasn't feeling very much at all. To be honest, it seems like the ratio of WAW and WAH stories in there are pretty half-and-half. It can happen to either party, and either party can reverse the momentum as long as they're willing to work hard for the long haul.
Talked to my W yesterday several times. The first time, it was strictly business -- trying to get my phone service transferred. It wasn't even me who called her, it was my mother-in-law. She gave the phone to me to talk to her. Without even probing for further conversation, she started asking me about my new apartment and trying to talk to me about what she heard about one of our old TV shows. When we said goodbye, the way she said "Bye" sounded much softer than usual. I noticed it and couldn't help but think that there was something behind it.
Turns out that I was right. She called me much later at night around 10 PM. She'd obviously been crying prior to calling me. When I asked her what was wrong, she paused, then answered that she was "lonely" (despite the fact that she had already talked to me earlier that day, and despite the fact that she could have easily talked to OM -- he's on the same time zone as me). We had a fifteen-minute conversation about what's been going on for us. Michele has stated in DR that "little steps are big deals," and there were little steps all over this conversation:
--Of course, she called me. I didn't call her. --Her voice was softer. --There was more joking and laughter. Our sense of humor was always very strong and one of our greatest points in the M. --She admitted that she really missed me. (Of course, she quickly followed up with "Not like that," but still. I think that she threw that out there to keep me from going into "pressure mode." This is also after our last big conversation, she said that she "thought" that she missed me but really didn't. Again...ping-pong answers...) --She said very earnestly to "call anytime."
It might not have seemed like a big deal to anyone else, but to me, it was an affirmation that things are headed in the right direction. Backing off and giving her space in order to think about things and miss me are clearly working. And I acted like a good friend throughout the whole conversation. I think I'm on the right track, and I'm very happy that this happened last night.
