I think you W is very confused and conflicted right now. You've picked up on that. She is not following God right now, and she's encountering roadblocks as a result. Speculating here, but I don't know how likely she will be to return to church. My W's church attendance dropped from regular to sporadic after the bomb. I think she's afraid she's going to hear something that conflicts with her game plan.
IMO, you are pursuing too much. I think you're learning though. In terms of the trip out of town, you've floated the offer, now the ball's in her court. Also, let her pursue you on the texting.
You don't want too much too soon, or you risk finding yourself back here again.
I think you know by now you shouldn't snoop. You W is going to do what she's going to do.
I'd be interested in hearing what your DB coach had to say, too.
