one factor is how your wife looks right now. Does she look like she's "her" but sleeping?
If there's a problem with her appearance, ie she looks way different or somehow is more physically damaged, the boys could be frightened so then forget it. Have a coffin with photos of her on top and at the "reception" later, if there is one, have a ton of photos in an album
(an ambitious computer friend could scan the pics in if possible--it's like a slideshow on the computer-just a thought)
AND if she's been to the funeral home and appears to be in the sleep way, I feel as if that whatever negative effect may occur, it might still be outweighed by other things.
For one, It enables the young to conceptualize her departure.
I lost a childhood friend in a car accident in college. The parents cremated her immediately so that at her funeral there wasn't even a coffin to "see" or say goodbye to.
At least 3 people asked me if they were "sure it was Janet who died"... And That disbelief, is traumatic too.
I suggest (but defer to YOU to decide, so factor in what you can....)
letting them in to see her privately, beforehand, from several feet away
til they're comfortable enough to approach, if they get to be,
(and not pushing them if they're not) is a good idea, imo Their resistance should be respected, but they deserve the choice.
WHEN is the funeral?
Oh, and let those who wish to share a vignette or detail or story about her speak before the whole ceremony ends, so people can share
and say their goodbyes too.
Do you have a pastor/priest speaking too?
I find my belief in God and the resurrection someday, to be VERY comforting at this time.
IF you're not a believer, maybe you could still let your boys hope?
SIGH...
wish there was more we could do...
please keep posting and let us know what's going on.
WE CARE...
((( )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
