To be honest Nines situation has thrown me for a loop, god the memories that this brings back, I keep thinking about the long hard road that he and his kids have in store for them.
It took me years....of IC, alanon, and digging deep ......and you know what finally did " IT " for me was forgiveness, and realizing how very ILL my father was, putting myself in his position.....a position were U believe that there is no other choice...besides suicide.
Forgiveness towards myself ( The last conversation I had with my Dad was a verbal fight about the way my life was going....he hated my hubby and did not want me to be with him.. I had never raised my voice or fought with my Dad and one week later he was dead ) I know NOT my fault but as NINE has said its almost impossible to NOT blame yourself, that comes with time and alot of soul seraching.
Forgiveness for my Dad ( He had always promised that he would never leave his family this way as his own father had committed suicide and knew how it would effect our lives. )
I'll tell you what when U lose a loved one all the " Little " problenms that we face each and every day seem soooo trival.
Im praying for everyone on this board and for myself and my lost loved ones that we all may find peace.
