Preseason has begun...just trying to make the cut

[MadeToSucceed]

Friday, 08/05/11

My W sent me two messages at about 3am when she was beginning her trip back stateside. First one was a bible verse. The other was this:

W: The hardest part of all of this is losing my best friend…just want you to know that. I hate I can’t talk to you when I want. My heart truly aches.

She then called me and we talked until she left Germany for London. She basically just was saying she realized lots of things and wanted to talk face to face. That she’s never wanted to me to feel used and never intended on hurting me but knows she has. She messaged me when she landed in London and then called me during her layover there. We did the same kind of convo but she did message me prior to calling back.

W: You sure you want me to call?

Me: Yea. Up to you though. Only if you want to. No prob if you rather just relax.

W: I just get conflicted. Don’t want to make things worse.

Me: I understand. Have a safe flight. Maybe I’ll hear from you when you get back.

W: Just got to my seat. Taking off. Let you know when I land. Thanks for really listening to me.

Me: You’re welcome. Have a safe flight.

I spent the rest of the day moving. Trying to get into my new apt, getting the house cleaned up, painting a wall I’d left unfinished for some time and just trying to clean everything up after I got everything moved. My mother, father and brother were there to help me but it was extra hard on me because I just felt so embarrassed. I broke down several times throughout the day including when I finally drove away but I managed to get done what I had to do.

She messaged me when she landed at about 7pm. I gave her the run down on where she could find her keys to her car and a few other things at the house. I had some landscape lighting installed that she’d always wanted. It was something I’d been paying on for a while…since well before this started…and was always intended to be a surprise when she got back from Europe in early August. I’d forgotten completely until they showed up to install them. At any rate, she noticed them but it wasn’t quite dark yet.

W:I saw the lights. I can pay you back for them if you’d like. I’m sure they’re gorgeous when they come on.

Me: That’s not necessary. It’s something I’d been working on for a while and finally finished it. Did you still want a copy of that DVD?

W: Yea I’ll check it out. Thanks.

Some small talk about the weather and then the convo faded for the night.
Friday night my dad stayed with me in my new apt. He and I drank a few adult beverages and watched some movies and just talked before we both passed out. I have no furniture so he slept on the floor and I slept on an air mattress. I actually slept through the night…in part because I took a sleeping pill. LOL.