Regarding your boys and viewing... I absolutely believe that giving them the option is a good choice.
She IS their mother.
Although my "ask" would be very careful to be CLEAR to them that she is gone and it will just be her body that they will see.
At this point, the reality is, it doesn't matter whether your W's family, your family, your friends, or ANYONE has a differing opinion and dislikes your choice.
YOU were her husband. SHE was their MOTHER. AND THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS.
