actually for about a second, I thought of going back to the OM and keep the both of them until someone, like ex h shows me that they want me. But of course I didn't. I feel bad that her betrayal is creepy in on you, I wonder if my ex will feel that too and maybe all we can be are friends. As you know its hard to sit and wait. I hope your head doesn't get too clouded with the new lady friend in your life and your ex. Are you still going to be doing things for her?? whats on tap for New Years???
Am spending new years with ex. Was suppose to have a date this past sat with new lady friend, but her ex has come back into the picture. I thought it was over between us, then she calls me Sun., we talk, she tells me that she has told her ex that she is going to date, and if he wants to prove anything to her than he will have to date her too. If I had known earlier that we would still be seeing each other I would have made plans with her for new years, but instead we are going out this Sat, she has convinced me to try sushi. Last nite when I talked to her, she told me sweet dreams as we said our goodbyes. That is something my ex use to say.
I always wanted to try sushi, you will have to let me know how it tastes. It seems like you have this web forming are you okay with your new lady friend dating her ex?If you have decided to see other people, maybe you should date someone who has no ex's in the picture. New years with ex and date on sat, you are starting too sound like me before I broke up with om, I would go biking with ex on sat then on sun be with OM--very confusing! Maybe on new years you could have a few drinks and maybe start talking about where your relationship is going with ex, I'm think if she knew you were seeing someone else, she would be upset.
Quote: Why can't he at least say, Anita, I have feelings for you, but still I am having trust issues with you. I would like to work on a relationship with you but I need to work on trust issues first. Then I would be like okay, now I know where we stand.
Why not say this to your xh? Well maybe nix the trust bit but let him know you are interested. Have you asked him out on a date?
Quote: Why can't he at least say, Anita, I have feelings for you, but still I am having trust issues with you. I would like to work on a relationship with you but I need to work on trust issues first. Then I would be like okay, now I know where we stand.
Why not say this to your xh? Well maybe nix the trust bit but let him know you are interested. Have you asked him out on a date?
Anita, Maybe you should just tell your H how you feel. What's the worst that could happen? Then maybe try not being so available. Heck I don't know. I know you are sincere and really would like a chance with him.
It's great that you all have such a close R when it comes to dealing with D.
Kim
"Those who don't read, have no
advantage over those who can't"
Mark Twain
Every year I tell him that I still love him, sorry and he gets crazy and starts screaming and yelling. For the past 2 years he would yell then tell me that he doesn't love me anymore. But last year he did yell but didn't say anything about not loving me (I believe with everything we do together, he does love me)That was actually last January. I cards that I give him, I still sign love, and when he got back from Poland last summer I gave him a card and wrote how glad he was back and how much I miss him. The date thing, I really haven't had the guts. But as luck would have it, I am a season ticket holder to the theater and buy tickets a year in advance, mostly its for me and daughter, but I did get tickets to a show for me and OM, since that is no more, I am going to ask ex if he would go with me and actually if he says no, I am thinking about just giving him the tickets and go with whoever he wants because he works so hard and he deserves a break, weather with me or someone else. And if he says no, hopefully it would open the door for some relationship talk. the show is "The Man Intellect--an oxymoron" I heard it was a funny show about relationships and how men are tring to figure out woman. If he goes we would at least gets some laughs about relationships.
I went to drop off daughter at ex's and of course we had to wait for him. He was all excited, he got a new car (his dad fixes auction cars) he got a 2002 passat and very excited. He asked me if I wanted to see it said yes and we spent about an hour on the net looking at it. His parents have a farm and he asked me if I wanted some eggs and he gave me a dozen--never has before. Then I was leaving and since we have been divorced he has never ever ask me about my weekend plans, etc. and yesterday he asked if I was going out to paint the town for news years eve. I laughed and told him I had a hot date with my steam cleaner! I moved into my apt. I never really had time to properly clean it and it is wall to wall carpeting. I asked him if he was going out and he said no that he and daughter would probably watch a movie and he would be asleep by 11 p.m. So I had a good feeling that I left, like he was interested in my whereabouts. I hope everyone has a wonderful and rewarding new year and we all get what we wish for!
thanks for responding Kim, I wish you the best in 2004! Well, I was the one three days before our court date, on my knees crying and babbling like a complete idiot! No that I look back on it, I was have really been a sight! He told me I started the divorce so he was going to go through with it. Whenever I try and discuss my feelings he gets very angry and starts yelling and then starts saying that maybe she should only speak regarding daughter. So I have been letting my actions speak for me. Like I still write in cards, love, anita, or I'm still thinking about you etc...its good and bad for daughter though, shes 12 and very confussed by all this--like me! I am over there everyday and every weekend so all seem to be together and then, like when the tenant sends dad a card and she finds it, she gets upset. That's why I would like to know how he feels so I can give some insight to daughter, if we are just going to remain friends, fine, but then I will not make such a consciencous effort to be available all the time. Drunk--thats a good one. He doesn't really drink and when he does, after three beers he goes right to sleep! I wish he called News Years Eve around 9 p.m. I was steam cleaning the carpets and having pina colada's and was feeling real good! I would have told him how much I loved him and that I wanted him really bad, well, okay, I'm glad he didn't call. News Years day he called to wish me happy new year if I don't see you. I was like, well I hope I see you--I'm coming over to pick up daughter! he was like okay and when I got there I told him that I was invited to a wedding on the 10th. He asked me if I was going to go. I was surprised he asked me. I told him that I haven't been to a wedding in ten years (truth) and that it would be fun--all the girls from work were invited. Girl from works daughter is getting married. I will try to read your postings today. thanks again!
