Endeavour, self- marriage counseling is like self-dentistry, impossible! You are at a good point for intervention, you are both conflicted, but it doesn't look like either of you is involved in another relationship yet. My advice to you is to get help. My marriage was really saved by the Retrouvaille program. You can get info on the program and when it is offered on their website, www.hepourmarriage.org.
We had tried MC before to no real effect. Each of us had stated our points of view trying to convince either the therapist or each other that we were right. And we spent a lot of money to have minimal results. But when we tried a Retrouvaille weekend as a last resort, it changed our lives! In just one weekend. It is very different from counseling and the best part is that they teach you and your husband to communicate with each other, not a 3rd party. So in the end, you learn how to continue to get along, not just get past this one hump.
Here's a link to a thread on Retrouvaille. http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1597090#Post1597090. It was started a long time ago, and hasn't had any action in a while. But you can get some info there. The most important thing is to get the Retrouvaille website, find a weekend near you and ask your husband to go with you. You will never regret it.
