I should have been specific when speaking of skeletons. I wanted to be honest about mine first and foremost.
I did not speak of the ones in my XW’s closet and her mother’s.
When my XW was growing up, her parents went through a contentious D when she was 8. For about 2 years, her mother was physically abusive to her. This is a skeleton in both my XW’s and X-MIL’s closet. My X-MIL hid it from their family despite the signs. Now this is based on what my XW told me, which I believe to be true.
Also, after the D of her parents, her father walked out of her life and she didn’t see him for 10 years. Even after he did come back into her life, he has never been a stable individual.
A couple of years later, her mother remarried. Not long after the marriage, her stepfather was convicted of some serious crimes. He spent about 13 years in the pen. My X-MIL took my XW to all of the hearings and then later to see him in prison.
These are the biggest examples that I can think of and I believe her having to experience these hardships has had an impact on some of her decisions as a parent. Just as an aside, the last 2 examples are not skeletons, but known facts.
Additionally, I feel as though a rational thinking person, much less a psychologist will see right through the untruthfulness of the statements in her declaration.
Originally Posted By: Country_Song
Quote:
Neither of these ever hindered my ability to be a great father.
Then I see no reason it should be discussed.
Hopefully it will not be discussed.
We shall see what my XW decides when I push for the evaluation.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
Do you BOTH need to agree to this? If so, what would your W's motivation be for agreeing to it? What happens if she does not?
Ask away my friend.
The temporary order from the court is for us to go thru a custody evaluation. If I push for it, she can't do anything about it....except try to negotiate with me in order for me to reconsider.
I don't think she can bring anything to the table other than moving back here that would make me change my mind.
It feels like a game of poker tbh.
My W and her attorney requested that I back off and as of Wednesday I was considering it. After sleeping on it and researching how it works, I am ready for the next round.
I am extremely motivated to get what I feel is right. That is for our children to be in my care. My W was asking me for advice last night on how I would handle certain behavior with our children. Our S5 was giving her a hard time. This is a big concern for me.
Okay, I answered your question and than some. lol
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
LITB, it really sux that it's come to this for you. You do seem to be handling it well. I am praying for your strength through this and especially for the best possible outcome for your kids.
The saga continues....on Tuesday during the hearing, my XW's L told the Judge that she never got served the documentation from my ex parte. Well, I just received an email from my L with the proof of service attached that took place on July 27th. I don't know if it means anything other than another lie from XW and her attorney.
I have no idea why it took a month to get her served in the first place. Just ridiculous.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
On July 15th, I was ordered by the Judge to send them to New Mexico to be with their mother by the following day. I sent them 2 days later as my mom accompanied them.
Originally Posted By: 2stepboogie
Who is watching them?
They are in my W’s care. While she is at work, they go to camp.
While she was out here for the hearing, they stayed with my W’s Goddaughter and the MIL. Quite the 1-2 combo. The Goddaughter is known to use drugs, however my W is in denial of it. The MIL is not healthy enough for my comfort.
I did bring up the Goddaughter’s substance abuse in mediation. Of course the W got defensive. She fired off a missile about me, my response, “This is about the best interest of our children”. The mediator intervened.
Originally Posted By: 2stepboogie
It seems that you are conducting yourself with class and dignity and at the end of the day it is all we can do
Thanks 2step. I appreciate it.
You know, I thought I was done with my R to my W. I had detached myself really well while I hadn’t seen her, however after seeing her this past week, my feelings are very strong for her. I’d be willing to put forth the effort to work things out with her if she decided that she wanted to.
I’m going to climb back on the DB’ing wagon and see where it leads. In the meantime, I have to move forward with this custody evaluation, which is a bit intimidating TBH. I know that it is in the best interest of our children and that is the bottom line.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
It does not work while one person has anger towards another
When the blame is gone and accountability shines through then you might have something to talk about
I must admit, this hit home with me 2step.
I find myself being accountable for my part, however I feel that some of my behavior was justified based on other circumstances.
Some of those circumstances brought on by my W and my MIL. I have attempted to justify my actions with words to my W, unfortunately this is useless. I will own my part and quit trying to justify my actions from this point forward.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
