My heart aches for you, and for your kids. I too like to think I'm a "wordsmith," but the helpless truth is that at times like this NOTHING we can say to you can take away your pain, but we can offer comfort, and perspective, at a time when you need both.
As much as you are hurting right now, you've got to focus on your kids. They need you more than ever, and we have all seen enough strength and character from you over these months to know that YOU CAN DO IT.
I pray for folks on here often, and will put you at the top of the list. Please reach out to your family, and to God, at this tough time, and LET PEOPLE WHO OFFER help you -- take them up on it.
You're a good man, Nine, and your kids are blessed to have you in their lives. I know you cannot see it now, but this is NOT your fault, and you could not have controlled it. As men, who are natural "fixers," that is hard for us to understand and accept.
