well T2, I told him I had to go pick up tickets to a ballet show that I got as a xmas gift and that was that, he didn't ask me anything about them and I am a little gun shy when it comes to offering information that hasn't been asked for. That's how I got into this mess to begin with. I always try to treat people like I would want to be treated. During our marriage when he was never around, I told him, hey, I am starting to have feelings for this guy at work, hey I am feeling a physical attraction for this guy at work, hey I had this guy transferred to another department because I really want to be with this guy. I was totally up front, as painful as it was to both of us. Maybe he never thought I would do anything. At first when I saw the tenents card yeah I was jealous, but I think you nailed it "selective honesty" and then I was hurt. It brought back all the fights we had about her. When she moved in all three of us clicked right away. She is a really nice person who would actually be a good mach for my ex. Her husband walked out on her and her two girls when they were 6 months and 2 years old. She also had a fire and lost everything and we had a fire also. the ex always could talk forever with people and she was so nice. Since she was starting over, I gave her alot of my daughter's old clothes, toys etc. We were still married and in therapy when he admitted in an individual session that he had an attraction to the tenant and wished he could find someone like her. when we divorced, I was still seeing the counselor and one day daughter called up all upset because dad had called the tenant and asked her out, he wanted to take daugheter and tenant and her girls and have this nice evening. Well he only got her answering machine and left a message (tenant never called hiim back). a couple of days later during one of my sessions the counselor let it slip that he had feelings for our tenant and that was it. I went crazy, I felt like he was cheating on me! I confronted him and we had a big fight and he told me that he didn't have time to date anyone, including the tenant. I told him I didn't care who he dated, but that since he was complaining about money being tight, that having a good tenant and going out with her was not a good idea--actualy kinda creepy. Plus, as you all know, its hard enough to establish a relationship with one person and then bring kids into the picture and it becomes even harder. My om is a sore spot for the ex and the tenant is a sore spot for me. Maybe he was hiding the card because he knows that it would make me angry. Years ago, I had confronted her and she said that they were just friends. But if he does want or is giving me a chance, I don't know why he would hide things from me. When I first moved in with OM, he has a two family, he lived upstairs and I lived downstairs. I begged the ex to come see the living arrangements but he never did, never dropped off daughter, I always came to his house to pick her up. So sorry for babblling, but I did not tell him that the OM gave me the tickets.
