Devastated

[Julz]

I signed up to so many different email courses that I now get lots of emails a day regarding affairs, winning ex's back, how men think etc. I got one yesterday and it's about 80/20. It said that most people want as much of a good thing as they can get, yet your marriage can be subject to destruction because your spouse is looking outside the marriage to attempt to gain the 20% they feel is missing. It goes on to say it's rare to find a relationship that meets each spouses needs 100%, 100% of the time. It says cheaters risk losing the 80% to gain the 20% and then when they realise that it wasn't worth it a lot have lost the 80% IYKIM.

I think it's a good analogy. My h and I get on great. We are great parents, friends etc. I thought he was happy with our sex life, but apparently he wasn't and couldn't tell me. Hence 80% of our relationship is great - he wasn't happy with 20% and has now gone off to try and find that.