Keep validating using less words when you communicate with her.
I'm not you, but my take on the "borrowed functioning" bit... in hindsight... how 'bout you spin it this way:
"It was great that when we met, she grounded herself and focused on her work. It's nice to think that she learned from my behaviours and I was able to provide her with that value."
It is said about sacrifice:
We are only martyrs if we and others believe it...
On her moving... this will be an "in the moment" thing.
If you think you can handle it, be there. If you think you can't, don't be there.
It's better to come from a place of pro-action than re-action...
