Loving, Listening, and Letting Go..

[aeolianchaos]

Just a quickie before I go for a walk.

Something I didn't recall about the conversation with my wife the other day:

She felt like she was afraid to tell me that she had feelings for another man before anything ever came of it.

She feels like because of my jealousy/reaction in the past when someone had feelings for her, she couldn't tell me about it.

At the time when we were discussing it, I got defensive and said "well I don't think my reaction last time was so harsh. And I was more upset that you were lying to me than about what that guy felt towards you."

In hindsight, i can see how my reaction - while not an excuse for her choices - was harsh. It was very reactive and certainly not representative of who I want to be as a spouse or as a person.

So.. do I acknowledge this? And Do I acknowledge that I was defensive the other day rather than understanding how she felt?

My gut instinct is take responsibility for it (without pointing out where she was wrong..) but my secondary thought is that it will come across as pleading or needy.




Thoughts?