My feelings are changing...sitch isn't

[tadpole1025]

Thanks SC, Antonia, Punkin, Beatrice and AJ.

It will be tough, but I will not contact her on our anniversary. I contacted her on Valentine's Day because I thought it was the "right thing to do." I ended up getting a very nice text from her, but it broke my heart.

I am convinced that something in her head is just not "right." She usually contacts me and S16 on Wednesday or Thursday to let us know when she will be picking him up for the weekend. She usually picks him up on Friday or Saturday. It is now Noon on Saturday and neither one of us has heard a peep from her.

Something else: she mentioned to me a month ago that her brother will be in town next weekend. She said that she would like to take him and all of our boys out for a nice dinner. She hasn't mentioned anything to the boys yet. WTF? My youngest is 16 and oldest is 25. They usually have plans. S18 doesn't even want to go. (I mentioned it to him.)

Sometimes I wonder if she is withdrawing a bit or if depression is setting in. She seems to go through cycles. Didn't I read that some of the stages of MLC can occur together? I'm not sure exactly when the crisis began, but from what I can tell, she has been in Replay for about 16 months or at least close to that.

S16 told me last night that she recently said that I am to blame for the D. She told him that I wanted it so she gave it to me. I did say it once in anger when she told me that she wanted to sign a two-year lease in her new place. Once and of course she remembers it.

He also told me last night that lately when he is at her place, she always asks him "have you heard from your dad today?"

From what I've seen, the guilt is something they try hard to bury. That takes a lot of energy because they lash out at what isn't the problem. They put a lot of energy into this effort to the point of exhaustion. They forget things. They lose sight of things. They become selfish, biting, monsters. Part of the journey.

I'm beginning to think that things are starting to catch up with her. Has any one had a feeling or "intuition" about their spouse that turned out to be right? I get these sometimes. Don't know why.

Thanks for the advice and hugs.

Tad