... I have been trying to work this out - it isn't entirely clear to me what my motivator is. ...
... To fight evildoers? ...
LOL!!! Probably not a motivator... more like a goal...
As funny as that sounds, think about that... what VALUE do you get out of fighting evil doers? How does that make you FEEL?
Providing value to others just might be your motivator...
What would that look like, to you?
Would that get you up and out of bed in the mornings? Get you excited about doing your "job"?
The other things you mention as motivators are more like goals.
Let me explain it to you this way:
I want to be loved.
I will fight evil doers (provide great value to others with utmost passion) and I will feel loved (the gratitude your are given for providing great value)...
I want to be secure.
I will fight evil doers (provide great value to others AND self) and I will feel secure (evil doers are gone, loved ones and self safe)...
Do you see a theme here?
Don't want to make mistakes?
That means being perfect... Is that possible and realistic?
How about, "forgive myself for my mistakes, learn from them, and move forward..."
Responsibility, trust, and surrender...
Your other statement, paraphrased:
"To be true to self and not directed by my desire to be what I THINK others expect of me"
How would that look, to you?
That's not a motivator... It's a goal... but what's the FEAR in that one...?
