"Wife, I have made a decision about my life. I've decided that I want to be happy, and I haven't been happy with you for a while now. I deserve to live with a woman who truly loves me, and wants to be with me. As you have clearly pointed out, you are not that woman. I suppose it will be an adjustment for the kids to having a new step-mother, but I've heard kids can be resilient. So, you can find another place ASAP, b/c as you pointed out, we need to move forward."
Johnnie, I am giving you a quote from one of DB's vets that is no longer around. Take it for what you think it's worth.
Quote:
"I can't live in the same house with my wife while she is actively pursuing an affair with another man, because now I don't want to be with you either, I've finally woken up to this idea. You should be with him, I want you to be with him. But I can't live with you anymore and since you started this process with the other man, you need to leave and a year or two won't cut it. You need to start looking for another place to live ASAP, I'll give you a month, maybe two at the most. I'll help you pack and move over as well. Also we will tell the kids that we are getting a divorce, and YOU not I will tell them that you are involved with another man because I will not be the bad guy in this situation, you will take responsibility for your actions and I have no issues about you feeling guilty, that is your cross to bear with them, not mine. I will be civil during this process but that is my decision, I can't go back to doing what I've been doing all this time, I can't believe I've been so stupid and foolish to allow this to continue for as long as it has. We will talk to the kids today after school (or Church)."
If you use this approach, be ready to enforce it. It's not a game or trick.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
