Twelve mile run today. This week's total running should be 27 miles, which is the longest week in my training schedule. I feel fine now, we'll see how I feel this time tomorrow.
For the past couple of days, I've had thoughts that it's time for me to move on. I think the convo about the New Orleans trip that W is organizing (and didn't include me on) was the tipping point. I get it that she doesn't want to be with me or do things with me. She hasn't for a long time now. I think the few crumbs I've gotten have given me hope that she would come out of her fog. Maybe she will, but there are things in my life, like companionship and physical intimacy, that I am not getting and don't see on the horizon.
My running course took me by W's house this morning. I never expected to see OM's car there at 7:30, but there it was. I was a little upset about that, but yet not. A little surprised but again not. I didn't really think she'd ever have him stay overnight and park where anyone driving by can see (W lives off a major road).
What I *don't* want to do is do anything on emotion. I don't think I am, but waiting another day or two can't hurt.
I told W a few days ago that I'd get her car insurance card to her Sunday. Right now, I'm leaning towards telling her that it would be best if she filed for D. I'm willing to file myself at this point.
I also know that there's no real rush, so I'm willing to just give her the cards, pickup a few more things from the house and go.
Of course, there are still parts of me that say to hang on. I'm thinking of switching my IC to one nearby that deals with R and D issues. Partly to help me in these transitions and partly on the *hope* that if there was any R with W, that she'd be able to help.
Like people say, you just kind of know when it's time to move on. I'm trying to figure out if this is any emotions talking or just my deep down realizations.
Wish me luck everyone!
Me 43 W 38 M 5 T 7 SD20 S15, S13 with 1st W ILYBNILWY June 2010 Separation/Bomb July 2010 Divorce Feb 8, 2011
