Screw "cuddling," CL. Intiate some intimacy. In my opinion, it would be WORSE for you if you try to initiate some sort of very passive contact, than if you did nothing at all, because your wife may think "See? That's all he's capable of; I need more than that."
Starsky
Starsky, Cuddling is action. I don't see how you equate cuddling with meekness. It fits with DB strategy of doing something different and measuring results. I say let's do the cuddling, and see what happens, because I don't know what else to do. We don't know what effect it will have. If that's the open door I see, I say walk thru it and see where it takes me. I don't see how it could make things worse, and we can't predict what my W will think. I agree that one instance of cuddling is not a good start, though it does at least break the pattern of nothing.
I don't see me as being capable of intitiating confident ML at this time. If I attempt to do that, it will be done anxiously and passively, as you fear. I'd rather do an action I can do with intention and conviction.
I do appreciate your concern and advice. I don't think I can do precisely what your asking. I do agree that it's time for more action and less analyzing.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
