Screw "cuddling," CL. Intiate some intimacy. In my opinion, it would be WORSE for you if you try to initiate some sort of very passive contact, than if you did nothing at all, because your wife may think "See? That's all he's capable of; I need more than that."
I could be wrong, having SSM issues myself, so I'd love to hear other opinions. But I see the preferential order as:
1. Confidently initiate LMing;
2. Do nothing.
3. Meekly initiate "cuddling."
In any event, I'd like to see less introspection from you (which you're already very good at), and more ACTION.
