Words from an MLCer

[irishblessings]

Alb - First I want to let you know that I am genuinely so happy for you - you sound really good and in a much better place.

As I read your post - I found myself doing what I shouldn't be doing - comparing it to my situation. You know "didn't I detach enough?" / "didn't I go on with life and smile and keep the family going?" If I can answer yes - then why didn't MY XH see that? Why wasn't that appealing enough to him to come home?

I have these moments where I do feel better - where I feel as though I have gone through some healing. Then there are moments - my daughter getting engaged / the death of a friend of both my XH and mine - where the overwhelming loss and sadness of my best friend - completely derails me.

I drive myself crazy with the constant self questioning - what did I do wrong? What should I have done differently? How did I not see this? Was I stupid? Somebody - ANYBODY tell me how or why this happened! The exact SAME questions I have had for the last 15 months.

I do know for sure that reconciliation is not a smooth, glorious path. The self-control and total commitment that is required to be vigilant about what is most important in life is overwhelming. However, I do believe that if accomplished - at the end of your time - you will have accomplished something quite noble and amazing.

Thank you for sharing your path. It brings hope back to light for many...