please help.......

[grr]

me not to read into this at all.......here goes

my h's band is playing at a "happy place" in another state this fall

it's a place we have gone more than a few times on family vacations and i had always hoped his band would be booked there

this year it finally happened and i was bummed out because of course, now we are separated and i would not go

he has mentioned a few times that he will be taking our s to this show (they play there for 2 days)

so tonight, we were skyping (he is on the other coast) and he asked me if i could come

he said it would be difficult, being out on the road, to come home and pick up our s, and them turn around and go right back to that part of the country

he also said that he thought it would be fun for me and that this way he would have some time to himself as well

so i know this is all for reasons that will make it easier on him

shocking, i know

he had also said that when i fly home, he was going to take our s to see his great gandma

i had to bit my tongue because i wanted to say "i would love to see your grandmother", as we are close

but i didn't

and by the end of the coversation, he told me that he guessed it would be ok, if i wanted to go see his grandma with them

although that might have been prompted by the fact that i had asked if she could meet us at the place where his shows are

anyway, i am a bit shocked by this, but at the same time, i should not read anything into it

because down deep, i know he only wants me there to make his life easier

i guess i am asking for help so as not to get any sort of hope up because of this

any thoughts?

i hope everyone is having a nice night

[dl443322]

Sweetie, I am not one to tell anyone not to have hope. But I think you know in your heart what is driving this.

On the other hand, they do pop up out of the tunnel from time to time and have some touch and gos.

So, you have a decision to make. Please make it with your head and not your heart so as not to get hurt.

If you do decide to go, you know the drill. Happy, light, no pressure. Let him see the new Grr.

And most important - NO EXPECTATIONS!

[Denver_2010]

Sweetie, I am not one to tell anyone not to have hope. But I think you know in your heart what is driving this.

On the other hand, they do pop up out of the tunnel from time to time and have some touch and gos.

So, you have a decision to make. Please make it with your head and not your heart so as not to get hurt.

If you do decide to go, you know the drill. Happy, light, no pressure. Let him see the new Grr.

And most important - NO EXPECTATIONS!

I concur with Brooklyn Grr. As you know, my opinion is that you should not go on this trip. You have to let your H live his life right now so that he can figure it all out. That means that you must let him live the things that he perceives as being good... but it also means that you must let him live with the things that are he will perceive as being the negatives of choosing a life without you.

If he gets the only the good, but none of the bad... why would he return to your M?

JMO.

BITS
Denver

[figgeroni]

i say...if he is paying for it...

go on the damn trip
have a blast on his dime
make memories with your son
and
if your husband is in some of them

great for him

if he isn't

well then...too bad for him

go with the idea that this is for you and your son

and

not your FAMILY

don't go if you are dreaming of a family vacation
that isn't what this is

[grr]

thanks for the responses......

brooklyn and denver, i do know what is driving this

he is looking at me as a nanny of sorts, so i can take care of our s while he can do what he wants

but in my heart, i do want to go

it will be a nice memory for our child to see his dads band play there and it will be all the more special for him if i am there too

and putting that aside, if i am not expecting anything it will be a nice vacation for me

i do agree with fig.....i'll go on his dime and have a great time with my son

and there will be no expectations of a family vacation

i know that this is not what it is

but it might be for my child

and that means the world to me

if things progress the way they are now, there will be plenty of separate vacations

yes brooklyn, light, happy, and no pressure at all

xo

[♪CS♪]

grr, did you end up working the merch table at his show?

Just be careful, OK?

[grr]

hi country,

yes i did, i realize that others might think this is weak, or stupid, but i have been invested in his band for 18 years

they are like family to me, and if i didn't do it, it would have fallen by the wayside...and yes, maybe that would have been ok......but it's not in my nature not to pitch in when needed...no matter who is being a jerk to me at the time

he did appreciate it and said so to me many times

and honestly, it kept me busy during the show, so as not to concentrate on so many people adoring this man who is off on some sort of journey that doesn't include his family

my s had a good time at the booth as well...it wasn't horrible

anyway, thanks for remembering and country....how are you doing?

[♪CS♪]

I understand grr.

Honestly, I just don't want to see you get hurt. (any further I guess I should say)

Just make sure you doing it for the right reasons.

REALLY with no expectations.

And remember a line in DR. "Accept some invitations but not all"

anyway, thanks for remembering and country....how are you doing?

I'm doing well. Thanks for asking

[figgeroni]

grrr

maybe you should pick a charity that is near and dear to you and then you can utilize anytime that you have to spend with your husband and his band to use his popularity to further the cause of your cause???

if you don't have one....

my daughter has both epilepsy and autism and those causes could always use some more star power (especially epilepsy)

[grr]

hey figgeroni,

we think along the same lines

he and i are heavily involved in a cancer charity, each year one of us climbs a mountain on a different continent where a concert is held at the top

i did fuji last year and the year before he did kili in africa

i am so sorry to hear about your little girl....i hope that she is doing well

every year i work on a television show that benefits autism.....the producer's son is autistic and he enlists the help of his comedian pals to work the telephone banks.....i would send you more info, if i could