Just catching up on your sitch. It all sounds so familiar, and you've gotten great advice from pros who have BEEN THERE DONE THAT. As the old saying goes, "Physician, heal thyself"; there should be one that says "LBS, Protect Thyself!"
Don't be surprised if H acts surprised and/or hateful about any self-preservation moves. That brick on there shoulder is the only thing that keeps their helium head from floating away. Don't back down about the well being of yourself and your children.
