I am so lost... someone PLEASE help me! 4

[♪CS♪]

"We don't communicate well. I think we should talk about it"

Hmmmmm

[Johnnieno1]

I am posting this message of an email I received from my wife. Before I respond I need advice desperately. How should I respond?

Hi
To be honest I do not mind the e mail way of communication. Just wanted to give you the heads up that I told my parents we're not great at all with us and that we will eventually split up. They are very supposritive just as yours probably are also with you which is great. Good to have a support system.
Nothing has changed for my feelings about you or us.....I guess people change and grow and we did not do that together.
Hope we BOTH get jobs soon so we can move on and both be happy soon!
You know you are free to go and take the kids places or even go with your parents and sister to your family stuff..... its important to you and them.
When we get stuff organized we can tell the kids....I feel no need to worry them till we really have to.
Have a nice night with them!
PS I think you work tomorrow AM so i may go to gym early and then take all 3 to Ls tennis lessons in the AM!
L

How should I respond?

[MrBond]

"I do not believe email is the best way of communicating. I would also appreciate that you do not tell others what "we" decided without consulting me first.

Right now I am not concerned about your feelings as it's time for me to make my life happy the way I see fit. While I appreciate your suggestions on what I will do with the kids, I have my own plans."

Short and sweet.

[♪CS♪]

Bond, one issue though.

He JUST emailed her.

And, unfortunately, he also went "nice guy" on her.

Responding in your fashion so soon, may seem a little jekyll and hyde.

[Johnnieno1]

Originally my thought was to email the idea to her and follow it up with open communication tomorrow. She has been acting happy lately and we have been getting along. I thought things were getting better. She had me convinced until I read her email that she was going out with the girls. Now it is my suspicion that she is going out with him. My gut feeling is to confront her about her affair and find out if she has ended it. If she hasn't, I want to kick her out of the house and out of my life. Right now she is getting the best of all worlds and it is time for that to end. I will not be treated as a doormat any longer. I had hope until today. I can't take another heart crushing. It's time to do whats best for me. If she wants out, then that what she will get.

[Sad_but_happy]

"My gut feeling is to confront her about her affair and find out if she has ended it. If she hasn't, I want to kick her out of the house and out of my life. Right now she is getting the best of all worlds and it is time for that to end. I will not be treated as a doormat any longer. I had hope until today. I can't take another heart crushing. It's time to do whats best for me. If she wants out, then that what she will get."


I couldn't agree more... Just make sure its more than a 'gut' feeling!

KNOW IT!!! Or don't do it...

[♪CS♪]

Johnnie, I can't remember.

Did she admit to the A?

Or no?

Did she say she ended it?

Or no?

[Johnnieno1]

Yes she admitted to the affair. When I asked her to end it on the day I found out she said she had to think about things and has said nothing since that's been over a month now...

[♪CS♪]

Well Johnnie.

Based on her email I don't think you need to ask.

To say it another way. DON'T ASK.

But...

Are you prepared to handle this without anger.

Just strength and honor?

[Sad_but_happy]

"Based on her email I don't think you need to ask.

To say it another way. DON'T ASK."



And THIS is what I don't understand.... CS, please explain this to me...

Live while W has an A and don't set boundaries? Let her eat cake and act 'as if' while wifeypoo enjoys the best of both worlds?

This is NOT acceptable, even in DB...

An A once exposed MUST end, or the LBS MUST set boundaries, and act/react accordingly.


JMHO