Trying to empathize with the lies

[Julz]

I believe deep down my H feels guilty. I've been speaing to a woman who had an affair and she's helped me understand the feelings and thoughts my H might be having. She said she put up walls to avoid seeing the hurt she caused. My H seems to be doing the same. He is denying he's done anything wrong, and blame shifting that I pushed him away, hence he had to get out of our marriage and it just so happened that he is now having a relationship with the woman that convinced him our marriage was so bad.

He was sick with guilt the week before he left - not eating, sleeping, panic attacks etc. He couldn't tell me to my face that he wasn't happy. He tried to - but ended up just doing a runner and ringing me to say he wasn't coming home. The next day he did come home, but not before telling me he'd rather just email me why he left.