Tad, the needing to be right is a characteristic pre MLC of many MLCers. It is personality type [according to my therapist] that when stressed, which is part of what MLc is, becomes very extreme. So the 'needing' to be right' becomes obsessive. Plus of course they cannot admit to themselves that they might be making a terrible mistake because where does that leave them?
Sadly many of them have to crash before they can admit they have made a mistake. And that can take a long time, way after any normal person would see they got it very wrong.
They are angry with us because they both love us [buried under all of what they are doing] but at the same time they cannot look at themselves and see they have any responsibility for their perceived unhappiness. Because they do not make mistakes in their eyes, then it has to be someone else who is to blame for how they feel. They can also get angry with their kids when they don't do what the MLCer feels they should. They do not see that their kids behavior has any justification in it, and of course children do not DB, so they can get some real anger as well at times.
While 'understanding' MLC does not make it change, it can help to see what is going on when the behaviour seems so crazy, as it does have its own weird logic. For me the more I understood, the easier it was to let go and focus on me, because I knew that most of what was going on wasn't anything to do with me personally. I was the lightening rod, not the cause of the storm, if you see what I mean.
We get the anger because we are around, because they love us. Some of them do not do this raging and blaming, but many do.
