Yeah, I can understand how at the very least, from a financial perspective filing was a good thing for you. Stabilize yourself and protect the kids from foreclosure.
I'm actually really feeling good about my choice to file. A long time coming, I guess.
I'd have to be honest here and say I hope... maybe had expectations that my W might "come to her senses" during the summer months, with kids off school and everything... but that was misplaced...
So this will bring a closure of sorts for me. Being in my mind set is the beginning of it. Have no idea how I will be through the process, but if I can stay out of my emotions, which are very dull in regards to my W at this point, then I should be fine...
I just came to a bit of an "understanding" about one thing that's been on my mind...
They say that love is a choice. It certainly is. It is a feeling, but it comes as a result of a choice, conscious or otherwise. We allow ourselves, we open up to give and receive love.
Well it baffled me how a WAS could calmly and sincerely say, "I don't feel married..."
The logic of it is... we signed paper, we stated our oaths in from of man and God, we're married... what's the deal?
So it struck me this evening...
We feel love because we choose to love... to BE IN love... when we choose out of love, we do not feel it...
We FEEL married because we choose to BE married... we ACT married...
The WAS... not so much... legal or faith... they CHOOSE to act un-married... therefore... they CAN NOT FEEL married...
Ring on or off, I chose to be married, therefore I AM married...
Marriage... like love... is a choice we make, every moment...
