Hey, Julz, glad to hear that we're in the same boat (or...rather...not so glad?). It helps to know that there's someone who's going through generally the same problems as I am -- not sure why it does, but it just does. I read through your thread and our sitch's really do sound similar. Your hubby sounded like he was reacting very strangely in the mental department when he decided to split. My W did, too; she said several times when my sitch "began" that she felt confused and as though her mind was "breaking." I imagine your H had a similar experience.
We just gotta keep on truckin' and let our S's do what they have to do. No expectations for either one of us, but somehow it helps to know that every other person's S on this board who has gone through this eventually "came to their senses" (or so it seems to me from what I've read). Have you read "After the Affair" by Janis Springs? I would highly recommend it if you haven't. It goes EXTREMELY in depth into the psychology of both the hurt S and unfaithful S. It's given me a massive amount of insight into what's probably going through W's mind.
I know that we're both pretty uncertain about what will happen, but what IS certain is that the odds are in our favor. For now, I've really come to embrace the idea of letting W go in my heart for the time being. I'm tired of feeling like I need her in my life in order to feel happy. It really makes you feel powerless when you keep thinking that way, and it becomes equally freeing when you realize that you are a great person and capable of being happy all on your own...
